Happy Wednesday…! I feel like this week is dragging, but it doesn’t help that work has been super quiet. How’s your week going for you so far?
For those of you who are new to my little blog, you may or may not know that four months ago I had an abdominal myomectomy. If you missed it, you can read Part 1 and Part II where I talk about what it’s like directly post surgery and how I fared after I got home. But in other words, if you’re still wondering what the heck an abdominal myomectomy is, it’s the removal of fibroids via a cesarean.
I can’t believe it was four months ago that I had this surgery. It seems so long ago, yet it doesn’t. In many ways, I feel like my scar has completely healed up aside from the obvious. The scar is no longer an angry purple and it’s flattened out loads. I have been really diligent in applying Vitamin E creams and oils on it since the surgery, so I’m sure that’s helped. I also picked up “ScarAway” from the drugstore when I was back in the States; I definitely think that’s improved the appearance as well in the past few weeks of using it. They’re silicone sheets that are washable and reusable for up to 2 weeks, pretty awesome! Plus they make them in a length specifically for cesarean scars.
Like I said, for the most part I can almost forget that I even had this surgery now. I no longer feel the pain in my ovaries before my periods; according to my doctor that pain is just the congestion and for the most part, I am no longer congested. Who knew your ovaries could get congested? HA The only pain I feel now is when I stretch, or when I elongate my body. I just feel a little pulling, but it’s not anything intense. The only pain I feel is really just emotional. I look at my body in the mirror and the scar is staring back at me; I still have a pooch above the scar and the fact that I’ve put on weight is tough to see. I know I am lucky that the surgery went well and that I am alive, most importantly, but it really does hit me from a self esteem point of view. My friends say I am being ridiculous, they haven’t noticed the weight gain, but the fact that none of my jeans and my work clothes fit me is depressing. On a positive note though, I am finally back in the gym!
I was looking to head back into the gym in September but, life happened. Rather I knew I was going to be in New York in the middle of the month and I didn’t want to get back into a routine for it to then get disrupted, so I pushed it off until October. Let me tell you how ecstatic I am to be back! My doctor had only given me the green light to swim in August, but I didn’t get around to that. I am allowed to run now, but well, running isn’t going to happen with all this nasty haze! And to be honest, I’ve never gone running in Singapore! The humidity just kills me and my asthma decides its the perfect opportunity to drop in. So I prefer heading into the gym and working with my personal trainer.
It’s only been a couple of weeks and they’re taking it easy on me. I don’t have the stamina that I used to – I practically died during Monday night’s session! But it feels absolutely amazing! It’s just a matter of time before my fitness level is back to where it was (I hope!). My trainer is currently working on getting my strength back, so I’ve been going back to basics and working on my form. He’s made me do a lot of back squats and with each session I am able to squat 10kgs more. I am currently back squatting 45kgs, only 20kgs from my personal best. I haven’t done any deadlifts yet but that will come with time. We’ve also been working on push-ups by breaking down the movement and getting my form perfected. It’s amazing how in the space of four months, my arm strength is just gone like it didn’t even exist. Before the surgery, I could hold myself up on the rings in pull up position for 30 seconds. I can barely hold myself up for a split second now. It’s super frustrating knowing that you could do it and now, nope! I know I need to be patient, but I’m tired of being patient!! Patience seems to be the theme of my life…!
My doctor said that I shouldn’t be lifting heavy weights, he thought 40kgs was too much at this moment and that I should wait another couple of months, but well, I think he’s being too conservative. On that note though, I am also really listening to my body and how it feels. My trainer is also aware of my surgery so he’s constantly making sure he’s not pushing me too hard. They’re also holding me back from doing a lot of jumps as you’re not meant to be jumping post surgery. I am not complaining!! I hate jumping – and to think I had silly aspirations of being a professional snowboarder! Box jumps, jump squats, leap frogs – ARGH! Hate them! So I’m going to milk it just a bit… 😉
Another reason I’m so excited to be back in the gym is not from a vanity perspective. I work out because it keeps me sane. It keeps me from falling into periods of depression and when the world seems to be against me, it allows me to stay positive. And girls, I can totally feel the difference in how I am on a day-to-day basis. I definitely feel happier and now, if the weight would just magically fall off, I’d be even happier. HAHA But seriously, the weeks following my birthday weekend, I fell into a hole for a few weeks but I am now climbing out and back on terra firme. It’s such a relief!
Anyway, that’s it for now. Thanks for reading…!