Bittersweet

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There is no greater feeling of being reunited again, but it’s all just bittersweet, isn’t it…? It’s the real kicker in long distance relationships.  You spend your days counting down to when you can see him again, but then your time together is just too, too short…

The first couple of days seem to go by slowly and you wish you could just keep time moving at that speed forever when you’re with him, but then WHAM! The rest of the week flies by and before you know it, it’s time to say goodbye.  It’s such a tease, but just when you have gotten used to being around him, he’s gone again.

You’re now counting down a different countdown in your head, it’s the “in 4 hours we have to say goodbye” countdown.  Now we only have 2 hours and 15 minutes left together…  In any case, that clock isn’t slowing down and your time together is dwindling, expiring.  Your heart starts to sink to your stomach and you try to not think about it, but it’s just the white elephant in the room.  You try to  make jokes, keep the conversation light, but it’s all just nervous chit-chat, awkward laughs because in 25 minutes, another countdown begins…

I didn’t want to cry, but the hot tears just spilled down my cheeks anyway.  This goodbye was hard; I could tell that B struggled with it as well.  I managed not to bawl though, I saved that for when he finally turned around and carred on walking down the travelator to go towards his gate.  But then I pulled it together, I didn’t need a room filled with strangers all heading to Singapore wondering what’s up..

And now you’re just left with the memories again.  A treasure chest of memories that live in your head; that you can take out and relive in your head when you really miss him.  But this time, you have new memories to add in; fresh memories to tide you over until the next time you see him, memories that are only dear to your heart…

You hit the reset button on your countdown clock again and carry on living your life as if the past week was just a dream….